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The Huntress vs. The Headline: “Meatless Monday: Communist Plot? Or Terrorist Trick?”

October 3, 2011

Its been a dry few weeks on the headline front, much to my dismay, but the usual chaff is still being churned out, even though the wheat has been scarce. The cream of this crop has included such headlines as “Nude Calenders – Nipples Are Out”, produced by The, “As Tasty As Meatloaf Gets, Apparently”, farmed out by the Herald Sun and “Rooting Isn’t A Crime In New Zealand”, harvested by PerthNow.

I really don’t know what to say…

Moving on to today’s headline, which I have poached once again from’s James Norton. Meatless Monday is an initiative being driven by the James Hopkins’ Bloomberg School of Public Health in an effort to improve the health of the individual, with the added benefit of reducing the carbon footprint being left upon our planet. By encouraging people to keep meat-free on Monday it is believed that many people will lower their risk of chronic diseases such as cancer and heart disease, as well as significantly reduce the amount of man-made greenhouse gas emissions, minimise excess water consumption and reduce our dependence upon fossil fuels. Sounds good to me, so why the link to communists and terrorists?

Richard Berman, a Washington based lobbyist also known for his campaigns to minimise the severity of dangers such as drink-driving, smoking and obesity, recently wrote a piece that decried ‘Meatless Monday‘ as being nothing more than a “Trojan-horse campaign with its basis in the fringe (that) can transform a loony idea into one that infiltrates mainstream thought”. Interesting. Mr. Berman also equates those who follow ‘Meatless Monday’ to being arsonists with “a full tank of gas and a book of wet matches…all it takes is one dry match to start a fire”.

“The fire of what?” is a very reasonable question asked by Mr. Norton. It would seem (according to Mr. Berman) that if people were to consume slightly less meat the resulting disaster would be equitable to Mount Vesuvius. All civilisation as we know it will end and the vortex will fold in upon itself leaving the communists and terrorists to take over the world with nothing but a cube of tofu and a leaf of lettuce. Scary stuff. Nothing, like, you know, people just choose not to eat meat on a Monday, leaving them to be a bit more creative with their diets, maybe enjoy some new and different foods and perhaps even save a bit of cash in the meantime.

So all of a sudden being meat free one day a week makes you a communist and a terrorist all rolled into one. Without realising it today I delved into my terrorist and communist roots by having a meat free dinner of sweet corn chowder, served with warm tortilla chips and gooey melted mozzerella. When I press the ‘publish’ button I have another terrorist treat of apple, pear and mulberry crumble that I baked earlier today. ‘Cause I’m a loony, arsonist, trojan-horse ‘Meatless Monday’ communist.

I’ll have a tank of fuel and a dry match, please.


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  1. Chris permalink

    Between your Meatless Monday, and my policy of not watching crap TV, we can have ourselves a communist revolution!

    Raise high the red banners!

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