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The Huntress vs. The Headline: “No Place For You, Aussie Geisha Told”

June 6, 2011

While it is a public holiday here on the western coast of Australia I am certainly feeling grateful to the eastern coast for providing me with an abundance of Pippa Middleton articles. It’s almost just like Suri Cruise and the penis gummies all over again with such crackers as “Pippa’d At The Post” thrown out there by AdelaideNow, “I Say Kate, Aren’t We A Pair Of Toffs” thoughtfully brought to us by the Herald Sun and my favourite “Sweaty Pippa, The Queen Of Royal Hotness” from

Would you believe that these are not actually THE most terrible headlines out there today, but I just can’t resist running with the Pippa Middleton theme. Mainly because like Suri Cruise it attracts a lot of readers to my blog. And then I get to pretend that I’m actually saying something great and profound to an audience that is likely consisting of bored housewives and masturbating teenagers. Nevermind.

Moving along to today’s headline. This is a story that I have been following with mild interest for the past few years. Having the greatest respect for the art of geisha and the incredible training they go through I am feeling a lot of empathy for Fiona Graham, the subject of today’s article. Ms. Graham, also known as Sayuki, is the first western person (and Australian, no less!) to have entered into the world of the geisha and undergone training in the arts of. This extraordinary achievement however has now turned into disappointment for Ms. Graham as the Askusa Geisha Association have informed her she is unable to operate independantly as she is a foreigner.

Now I am aware that in the west that there are many misunderstandings about what a geisha may be – most of these misconceptions are the idea that geisha are little more than high class escorts, which is certainly not the case. Geisha are highly talented women who painstakingly train in traditional Japanese arts and music such as Japanese dance and singing, hand and shoulder drums, shamisen or Japanese flute. A geisha is an incredibly cultured artist who is also an expert in conversation and other areas such as traditional tea ceremony.

Geisha certainly put a grubby, shop soiled nurse such as myself to shame.

The culture of geisha in Japan has been deeply entrenched over centuries and for Ms. Graham to be accepted as the first westerner to train and operate as a geisha is certainly an honour. Upon (limited) research it seems it’s a bit unclear as to whether Ms. Graham shall be able to continue her practice. Her motive for becoming independant is due to the “mother” of her geisha house being too ill to continue with the management of the business, therefore she should still be able to continue as a geisha as long as she is accepted in by another house. It would be a great shame if she couldn’t.

I have also discovered that being a geisha is quite lucrative. Sayuki’s going rate for company and conversation at dinner is 40,000 yen for the mininum 2 hour engagement – which equates to approximately $AUD465. For a group booking at a tea house it is approximately 20,000 yen per person, but that can vary depending upon how many people are attending.

I am so in the wrong profession…


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  1. Chris permalink

    I wanted to say something silly like “Not all of us masturbating are teenagers, you know?”
    But I just couldn’t.

    But, although I am sure it will come as absolutely no consolation to Ms. Graham, she may be the brave first to test the system. There is always going to be someone who tries something new, and has a hell of a hard time for it, but they do pave the way for other people and future attempts.

    So, go her!

  2. My apologies, Chris, I forget that you actually read my blog – I think that means that 2 people I know actually read it…

    I suppose I feel better now that I know I have more than 2 categories of people who may actually read whatever drivel I pour out on any given day. Comforting thought.

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