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The Huntress vs. The Headline: “Judgement Day And The Dead Are Rising: It Must Be Saturday”

May 20, 2011

The same predictable and boring headlines are still rolling around today, however there are still some class acts that deserve recognition. In keeping with Zombie Awareneness month (and yesterday’s headline) AdelaideNow presented us with “US Offers Tips On ‘Zombie Apocolypse'”. News.com.au has presented “Passenger’s Evil Mile-High Guide” to readers and The Courier Mail has featured “Drunk Put Finger Up Policewoman’s Bottom”.

So many places I could take that last one. So many places I shouldn’t take it.

I decided upon today’s headline as apparently tomorrow is Judgement Day and with the impending zombie apocolypse I haven’t prepared for (I could have done with a bit more notice from the US authorities. Even if I do live in Australia) I may not get the opportunity to write this again. Some may argue I could write a far more interesting blog about far more relevant issues if I was a zombie and I wouldn’t argue with them, however this is far more entertaining to my poor, bored, little brain at the moment.

Anyway, back to Judgement Day. According to US Christian cult, Familyradio, tomorrow is to be the date of rapture, a day where some people (assumedly the believers) will ascend to heaven, leaving us unbelievers with the risen dead to an uncomfortably hot environment with the responsibility of looking after the pets they abandoned. (Nice. It’s a good thing I like animals and pretty much deal with the living dead in my line of work anyway – for those who don’t already know I’m a nurse). Then in five months time we will have the final destruction of the world. I only hope they leave us enough pet food and cash to cover expenses.

How does one come to the conclusion that tomorrow shall be Judgement Day? Allegedly the date is calculated by adding 7000 years to the date of the great flood (the one where Noah is said to have built an arc), assuming that the great flood occured in 3990BC.

How could the calculation possibly go wrong?

I guess the irony in all of this is that it says in the bible that there is no way anyone could ever know when Judgement Day is to occur. So basically the Familyradio people are taking the word of a book, written by a number of people that contradict each other, about a person who cannot be proven to have existed representing a higher power and putting their own spin on it. Confused? Good, me too.

So should we be concerned and what should we do? No, we have no need to be concerned. Especially now that we have advice from the CDC about how to handle a zombie apocolypse. What should we do? Well I don’t know about you but I’m cooking a good meal, going to drink some good wine and enjoy some good company. That way I can be sure I have no regrets in the event of a zombie onslaught tomorrow. Oh and by good company it is likely to include Fenris…

On another pet note, pony owner Joe Purcell has made UK headlines by taking Pongo the pony everywhere he goes – including to hospital.

I bags Pongo if Mr. Purcell makes the assension!

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2 Comments
  1. Chris permalink

    Isn’t the whole of the Holy Bible just different people putting their own spin on the same thing?
    Also, is that the same guy who got angry when The Man wouldn’t let him take his pony on the train?
    In Wales, I think?

  2. Yes to both questions. He also took the pony to a pub and ordered a drink for the pony and got kicked out. He then claimed Pongo had been glassed, which is why he took him to the hospital 😀

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