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The Huntress vs. The Headline: “Katie Holmes Pleads Innocence Over Penis Gummies Picked Up In Serendipity”

April 1, 2011

Absolute gold was struck when mining the dubious headlines for today’s entry on dumb-down Friday. Bronze goes to AdelaideNow with “Little Girl Puts Weather In A Spin” and silver goes to The Courier Mail for “Beer Brings Horse Back From The Dead”.  In all of this nothing made me more excited when I chanced across this extension of the original Suri Cruise/penis gummy article on News.com.au. I never thought penis gummies would ever excite me so much.

Personally I don’t understand the drama over the original penis gummy article – really are penises that bad? In my mind it’s basic anatomy and physiology and nearly half of our population are likely to have a penis themselves. Penises are not rare, elusive or uncommon. They serve a rather important function (and not just sexual, remember!) and I think most men and boys would be offended if we tried to deprive them of their penis.

Bearing that in mind, the only thing I found even remotely interesting about the article was the refusal to say the word penis. I didn’t realise basic anatomical terms were unpronouncable. It’s not like penis is difficult to pronounce, so it can’t have been that and it’s certainly not a four letter word that may offend some of the more delicate within our society. So why the refusal to say it? What is so bad about educating a child about the human body when the opportunity arises (in an age-appropriate manner)? Does anyone else out there think it would be great if we could get bags of sweeties that contain a mix of anatomy? I would love it if I could crack open a bag of treats and fight over who gets which piece of anatomy. I would fight for the brains and the boobies.

Keeping with all things anatomical and edible I quite enjoyed this slot on ‘Spicks and Specks’ about vagingerbread men. Completely cool.

To round off the week I also found this article from The Australian very entertaining. The workers of the Golden Spa massage parlour were duped by a man posing as a massage parlour inspector demanding a ‘rubdown and two hundred dollars’. The alleged man responsible is believed to be an ex-police officer and confronted workers wearing a badge and claiming to be investigating a complaint. Upon complaining of back pain himself a masseuse (or is that “masseuse”?) gave him a back rub –  he then requested a frontal massage, which was refused (maybe he doesn’t like saying penis either).

I don’t quite know what to say to all of that.

Maybe I should get some penis gummies on the weekend.

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